She is praised for her warm leadership style and for making everyone – guests and colleagues alike – feel at home. As the third generation of an Italian hospitality family, she carries forward a heartfelt ethos and shares her passion for Como with visitors from around the world. Since Passalacqua opened in 2022, the hotel has been named Best Hotel in the World and Best Hotel in Europe twice. The secret to her success? Staying authentic, not chasing social media trends, and letting word of mouth work its magic.
I meet Valentina inside Passalacqua on Lake Como, where every corner is a feast for the eyes: intricate textures, authentic frescoes, handpicked artworks, and Chinese porcelain. As a hospitality journalist, I have stayed in many beautiful hotels around the world (one of the perks of the job, I would say), but this place is something else. Entering the villa feels like stepping into a different reality – almost like a return to the 18th century, when Italian nobility would summer in the countryside to do what they did best: il dolce far niente. Loving, celebrating, being with family and friends, and sharing life’s beauty through good food, excellent wines, and nature – all to enrich both soul and mind. Being welcomed onto the property by the team with a bouquet of fresh flowers even makes me feel a touch aristocratic. Valentina greets me with hugs and kisses.
Ladies Drive: Wow, Valentina, what a hotel! The level of detail in this space is incredible. Did you choose all this?
Valentina de Santis: I did, together with my parents. We are a small family, and until the opening, we were busy fine-tuning every detail. I can name every fabric and every supplier of everything you see in this room. Each item was selected with a purpose, and every detail has a back story – some even come with disagreements. Did you notice the brown leather pencil holder? We had a little mother–daughter disagreement over that one.
So you literally grew up inside a hotel. Did you always know you would eventually run the business with your family?
I definitely had a choice. But as an only child, I felt a certain level of responsibility. It was, however, an obvious choice to make – one I had already made when I was very young. As a little girl, my parents always took me travelling around the world. I noticed how passionate they were about selecting the hotels we stayed in. For them, travelling was a way to find inspiration. I remember taking my mum’s small digital camera and capturing photos too – not of monuments or famous sights, but always of the hotels. What seven-year-old has a camera roll full of details like bathtubs and breakfast trays? I suppose I was mesmerised by the way my parents looked at hotels, and I began to see them the same way.
How would you describe your leadership style today?
I share the same approach my family has always embraced: true hospitality from the heart. I focus on communication, sales and marketing, while my mother oversees aesthetics and my father manages finance. Being a family-run hotel means everyone is more involved than in corporate chains. We do this because it is our passion, not just to generate profit – and guests can feel that. All the profit we make is reinvested to improve the guest experience. Both hotels feel like our homes, and everyone who steps inside becomes part of that. I spend a lot of time on the property because I want to speak with both guests and team members; I believe that is essential. Our guests are not numbers, and neither are our employees. The team truly feels like a family. Without them, none of this would be possible. We aim to create a sense of belonging and affection so that both the team and our guests share the same love we feel.
I’d say family-run hospitality often feels warmer. So, are there any challenges in working so closely with family, and how do you manage them?
I believe I am fortunate not to have faced real “challenges”, but rather opportunities. Of course, there have been challenges – opening a new property is one in itself – but they are positive ones. As a family spanning three generations, we have different perspectives, and when we clash, that is often when the most creative ideas emerge. I am often asked whether being a woman or the youngest makes things harder for me, but it is actually quite the opposite. Everyone around me has always been incredibly supportive. People saw me as a breath of fresh air, bringing new ideas that were welcomed and encouraged. So either I must be blind, or I have simply been very lucky to encounter such support.
And how do you see the role of women in hospitality today?
It is so important to have women in hospitality because, at its core, hospitality is inherently feminine. Think of our homes – who is usually taking care of things? Often it is the woman who brings warmth into the space. And yes, I have heard this compliment many times: behind this hotel, there is a woman – whether it is me, my mother or my grandmother. It is that feminine touch that can truly make people feel at home through small details and gestures. There is no need to overdo it. If something is done with meaning, guests will feel it – authentically, not for Instagram or as part of a marketing narrative, but from the heart.
Given what you just said about hospitality from the heart, how does Passalacqua stay authentic on social media in the era of visibility and trends?
Ha, that’s simple. We don’t follow trends; we follow our own tastes, desires and expectations. There’s a big difference between people who post for show and those who post because they are genuinely passionate about something. It was never our mission to please everybody. We simply want to share what we truly love, not create an “Instagrammable place.” Whenever I create something online, I think about what I would personally like to see or expect from a place. I believe the key is to stay true to yourself and not overthink the expectations of others. Simply do what feels right. We launched our Instagram page on the day we opened, because I didn’t even have time to think about it before. We were busy handpicking room accessories and finalising preparations. After the launch, our page grew – but always through word of mouth. I still believe that is the most powerful marketing tool.
Passalacqua won Best Hotel in the World in 2023 and Best Hotel in Europe last year. How do you deal with the pressure that comes with those titles?
We became number one in the 50 Best Hotels Awards only 13 months after opening. My first reaction was pure happiness and joy. I still get goosebumps when I think about it. But I also felt overwhelmed. I kept asking myself: What’s next? What’s going to happen? What do we do now that everyone expects Passalacqua to be the best hotel in the world? How can we truly be the best? My family and I paused, took a breath, and decided we didn’t need to change a single thing. We stayed true to our original idea: creating a home for our guests and trusting what we were doing. Of course, we aim to raise the bar and improve – but always while staying close to our identity. No need to surprise for the sake of it – this is Passalacqua.
That’s true – never change a winning team. After winning, did more guests come to the hotel to be seen online or to chase the hype?
We’ve always been very private, and after winning the award, we’ve become even more so. Passalacqua opens in a highly selective way – for our guests only, not for external visitors. People can’t simply drop by for a coffee or an aperitivo to snap a photo with the orange car. I take photos with every guest group, but we don’t allow entry to outsiders. It remains a very private world – not because it needs to be secret, but because we only have 24 rooms. Our aim is to protect and preserve the guest experience. We see the couples staying with us as the owners of the house, and we want to respect their privacy.
Do you have any final advice for our readers?
I’d like to share something our managing director in Tremezzo, Silvio, used to tell me. We’ve been working together for a long time – 13, 14 years, I’ve lost track. He was a big fan of Walt Disney and used to say to me, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” That line is a famous Disney quote, and we’ve made it our own. I’ve always believed that dreaming is one of the most powerful things you can do, because everyone can dream big – and when you truly believe in your dreams, they have a way of becoming reality. I think the most important thing isn’t what you do, but why you do it. If you find something you are truly passionate about, you become unstoppable.
