In recent years, societies around the world have become increasingly polarised. From political ideologies (left vs. right), to culture wars, to religious conflicts, to global vs. local values, people are often forced into binary camps. Social media algorithms, partisan news outlets and the economics of outrage all contribute to this intensification. Public discourse becomes tribal, and nuances are flattened.
In such an environment, the phrase ‘staying centred’ doesn’t mean remaining neutral or passive. Instead, it implies an active resistance to polarisation – a conscious, often difficult choice to make: 1) Resist being drawn into ideological extremes; 2) Maintain empathy for both sides of a debate; and 3) Stay engaged without being consumed.
Many of us struggle to engage with controversial issues without being drawn into unproductive polarisation. Rather than avoiding difficult conversations or becoming entrenched in rigid positions, we can learn practical techniques to participate meaningfully while preserving relationships and our own well-being for day-to-day conversations at home or at work.
The Challenge of Polarisation
As we become interested in a subject and learn more about it, we find that it is more complex than we initially realised. Polarisation is no exception. Have you ever wondered how to define it? How many forms of polarisation there are? What can we do to avoid its toxicity?
Polarisation is fundamentally driven by our social identities and emotional responses. When views become tied to who we are, rather than just what we think, disagreement feels personally threatening. This pattern undermines trust, damages relationships and prevents collaborative problem solving on key issues. It undermines understanding across differences. Polarisation occurs when people’s opinions, feelings and group identities become sharply divided, often pulling them towards opposing extremes. We have chosen to focus on three main types of polarisation: 1) issue-based, 2) affective, and 3) group-based polarisation.
In the context of issue-based polarisation, we observe opposition around specific issues such as politics, climate change or social issues. It creates intellectual divisions based on different understandings of facts and solutions. The climate change debate is an obvious example. We do not need to recall the opposing views to see that the division is not just about different policy preferences, but about fundamentally different beliefs about scientific facts and the urgency of the problem.
In affective polarisation, the focus is on the emotional components. People develop negative feelings towards those with opposing views, seeing them as misguided, threatening or morally wrong. An archetypal example is the infamous Brexit vote (Leave vs. Remain), which sharply divided British society. It wasn’t just about political preferences about EU membership. It triggered strong negative emotions between the two camps. Leavers often saw Remainers as elitist and undemocratic, while Remainers often saw Leavers as ignorant or xenophobic. Similarly, the election of Donald Trump has unleashed a tsunami of comparable dynamics, with dramatic geopolitical polarisation across the globe.
Third, when we speak of group polarisation, we are referring to the tendency for people to adopt more extreme positions when surrounded by like-minded people, reinforcing existing beliefs and deepening divisions. Like-minded groups sharing information push each other towards a polarity. Take, for example, the pro- and anti-vaccination positions during the COVID pandemic. Depending on how much of one position you consume in your social media feeds, you tend to approach the possibility that the opposite position might or not deserve some credit.
We now turn to personal action to nurture our ability to respond to life’s stimuli when experiencing polarisation and refer to the recommended further reading for a deeper exploration of the principles and implications of living in a polarised world.
The principles below and the five-step process we offer are the result of three decades of thinking about how our societies are evolving in terms of technology and sustainability against the backdrop of our personal ecology and mindsets. We trace the approach we promote back to two key world views that we hold: i) our deeply held belief that liberal democracy is the least evil form of social governance that we have come to know in modern times, and that we should actively work to preserve it; and ii) the repeated experience of our most powerful ‘remedy’ – the practice of mindfulness – as a way of paying attention to the way things are in the here and now, without judgement, and remaining curious. These two anchors help us to be engaged but not polarised.
Growing Our Centred Engagement Muscles
It is not obvious that we can live well in a polarised world if we do not apply four key principles, starting with cultivating our self-awareness. If we do not understand our own triggers, beliefs and biases, we have little chance of pulling ourselves back when debates get heated. Curiosity over judgement is the second principle, which tells us that genuine interest in the world view of others is not a ‘nice to have’ but an essential attitude. It requires active listening, rather than having your own opinion ready to shout out when someone explains something to you. It is necessary to value empathy over certainty to bring a healthy level of vulnerability into the interaction. We seek to understand before we are understood. It also shapes our level of civility so that we can remain respectful in disagreement.
Let’s go through the following five steps to operationalise the above principles.
Step 1: Pause and notice your thoughts, emotions and body sensations.
Ask yourself: is my heart rate higher than usual? Is my breath full or shallow? What emotions am I experiencing? Am I in danger of making an automatic judgement? Pause to create a space between stimulus and response to break the pattern of unconscious and unwanted reactions and open up to new possibilities for engagement.
Step 2: Name and own your experience.
Your personal history matters and shapes your perspective on any issue. Acknowledge how social affiliations influence your position, possibly practise journalling so over time to keep records of your own biography. Try to reflect on why certain principles are so important to you. This will help you to engage with intention. It is a hard exercise in radical self-honesty and will create space for authentic dialogue.
Step 3: Seek to understand and listen deeply.
Unless we accept to see the world from the perspective of our counterparts, there is little chance of avoiding polarisation. We need to suspend our assumptions and trust that this does not put us in a weak position. It helps to build trust in us and others and to discover common and divergent points of view.
Step 4: Clarify and communicate thoughtfully.
Be transparent about your views, using ‘I’ statements and explaining how you arrive at certain conclusions. By asking questions, we can not only acknowledge complexity but also develop our ability to explain to ourselves and others why we feel and think as we do. It takes practice and humility to become more nuanced and less forceful.
Step 5: Stand centred and open.
When we are clear about our core values and know that we can maintain them even as we explore diametrically opposed ones, we create the conditions for deep dialogue beyond the boundaries of our certainties. This is one of the most humane practices and experiences we can hope to have in our lifetime on planet Earth.
Expanding Our Social Medicine Pharmacy
To complement this conversation, we have created a portable pharmacy of four strategic ‘social medicines’ that we would do well to take when we find ourselves (individually and collectively) becoming polarised, such as in political discussions, family gatherings and workplace conflicts.
- Time-out technique: When emotions escalate, suggest a short break: “This seems important. Let’s take a few minutes to collect our thoughts before continuing”.
- Context shifting: Move polarised conversations to more conducive settings: from public to private, online to face-to-face, or from large groups to one-on-one.
- Strategic disengagement: Sometimes the wisest choice is to step away temporarily: “I value this relationship too much to continue this way. Let’s revisit it when we can discuss more productively”.
Name the pattern: Identify polarisation when it happens: “I notice we’re falling into opposing camps. What if instead we looked for common concerns?”.
Choosing Centredness as an Act of Courage
In a world that too easily splits into ‘us’ and ‘them’, staying centred is not a passive attitude, but an act of immense courage and clarity. It is a conscious decision to honour complexity, to remain open when fear urges us to close, and to choose dialogue over division.
Staying centred means recognising that human dignity lies not in always being right, but in striving to understand and accepting the vulnerability that true understanding demands. It is not about watering down beliefs; it is about embodying them with wisdom, patience and humility.
As Rumi reminds us:
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When we choose centred engagement, we step into that field, not to erase differences, but to meet them with grace. We reclaim our agency to resist reactive extremes and shape a more resilient society. In these times of heightened polarity, staying centred is nothing less than an act of stewardship for the future of our shared humanity.
Further readings:
- Klein, E. (2020).
Why we’re polarized. Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster. - Hopkins, D. J., & Sides, J. (Eds.). (2015).
Political polarization in American politics. Bloomsbury Academic. - Coleman, P. T. (2021).
The way out: How to overcome toxic polarization. Columbia University Press. - Mounk, Y. (2018).
The people vs. democracy: Why our freedom is in danger and how to save it.
Harvard University Press. - Eatwell, R., & Goodwin, M (2018).
National populism: The revolt against liberal democracy. Pelican Books.
Dr Valérie M. Saintot, LL.M.
Valérie is a lawyer, adjunct professor, and Innovation expert.
Dr Valérie M. Saintot, LL.M., has experience in the private and public sectors. She holds four postgraduate degrees: in law, psychology and management research. She began her career in 1994 at the European Court of Justice in Luxembourg. She worked as a lawyer in Luxembourg, subsequently joining the European Central Bank in 1999 and working there for most of her career. Her expertise covers leadership, change, organisational development, LegalTech, and AI. Valérie is passionate about methods which help unleash imagination, thinking, spiritual intelligence, and creativity. She inspires people to embrace personal growth to impactfully contribute to society using life centric pathways.
